No pain, no gain

Life has been anything but boring since I started getting “floaters.” I was told by my eye doctor that they are very common, and can disappear as quickly as they appear. “Floaters” are little specks that actually float on the eyeball. Nowadays I often jump at what I think is a cockroach on a wall, or a fly buzzing in front of my face.

It was a Monday night, and I had for some reason woken up around midnight so I decided to spend some time in prayer. I found out that earlier that same night, my daughter, Rachel, had been telling her kids that I had been getting up for prayer most weeknights, for about 25 years, and how I had perfected walking in the dark. If I couldn’t see, I would extend my crossed arms. That would mean that I didn’t walk into any open doors. Pretty clever.

I didn’t need to cross my arms this night because I was going into the sunroom, a room I rarely prayed in, and one that wasn’t pitch dark. The Bible says that when we enter a room for prayer, we should shut the door. I almost always think of that verse when I enter a room to pray. It speaks of a quiet intimacy with God.

I carefully shut the door making sure not to wake Sue, who was soundly sleeping upstairs. I then knelt down to pray. After 30 minutes I stood up, turned the light on to check the time, turned it off, and in the now pitch dark walked straight into the closed wooden door! The bang was so loud I thought that I had awakened Sue for sure.

In the morning I was surprised to find that she didn’t hear the big bang. I guess she is used to hearing stumbling noises in the night. She did however, notice the blood on the bridge of my nose. We were both amazed at how hard I would have had to hit the door to flatten my nose and get a wound on the bridge between my eyes.

I got through the entire next day without injuring myself. That night I trimmed my fingernails, not bothering to file them after trimming (that’s a “woman” thing), and then leaped into bed. However, somehow between the bathroom and the bed I managed to cut myself on my left thumb with my right nail, and draw blood. Sue wasn't surprised.

The next day I fell off my bike, and only slightly injured my left knee. My consolation was that it wasn’t as bad as when I rode into a five inch high sidewalk curve, and went over the handlebars.

After sending half a cup of tea down my windpipe and nearly drowning myself during the evening, I jumped into bed that night and began reading a good book. Suddenly I was distracted by a huge mosquito that buzzed between my face and the book. It was one of those blood-filled ones, and because it was so heavy laden and therefore slow, I knew I could kill it. With the reflexes and agility of a world champion Kung Foo expert, I slapped my open hand against my chest at lightning speed, trapping that beast with such force it not only startled Sue, but it really hurt my bare chest. But it was worth the pain. I focused my eyes on my stinging chest as I searched for its crushed body. I never found it. It was a "floater."