Years ago, for some reason, I let a book (that was a wonderful evangelistic tool) go out of print. It was about dumb things people have done, with most of it being about my daily life. Fortunately, a publish has decided to release it, and it will come out under a new title--101 of the Dumbest Things People Have Done.
Most days I manage to do something really dumb, so I think we will end up with more than one volume. Just the other day I was riding to work on my bike, when I looked ahead and saw an angry and barking Chihuahua running towards me. I had been chased by the beast before, but never with a frontal attack. I didn’t like the messy thought of having a head on collision with a Chihuahua, so I crossed the street. He followed me, obviously encouraged that I didn’t want to face him head on. When I reached the opposite sidewalk, he backed of, still barking abuse. I spun a wheelie and yelled, “Hey, what’s your problem!” That’s when I noticed the dog’s owner standing on his lawn, staring at me like I was some kind of nut. Suddenly a member of my staff drove passed. She had seen the whole incident, slowed down, wound down her window and with a big smile on her face she said, “Naughty doggy!” while waving her finger at me. I wasn’t sure if she was speaking to me or the dog.
The next day I poured some cereal into a bowl, and was left holding an empty box. I decided that it would take up less room in the trash if I flattened it. So I put it on the ground, and stood on it. That’s when I found out that a cereal box on a vinyl floor moves a human like he’s on smooth ice. My foot slid at 90 miles an hour into the dog dish and spread dog food and water all over the kitchen floor. I spent some time getting food out of my shoe.
Earlier that week, I phoned my editor to wish her happy birthday. I knew it was coming up so I kept a note all week by my phone that said “Sunday. Birthday--Lynn.” I even programmed my phone to sound an alarm. A birthday call out of the blue can be so meaningful. The Sunday came. I didn’t lose the note. The alarm went off as planned. I felt proud of myself, and as I called I was thinking, “This will be a surprise.” When she answered I blurted out a sincere and enthusiastic, “Happy birthday Lynn!” Her birthday was the previous Sunday.
So if you too are a continual klutz, take comfort that you are not alone. There's a whole book coming to console you.
Most days I manage to do something really dumb, so I think we will end up with more than one volume. Just the other day I was riding to work on my bike, when I looked ahead and saw an angry and barking Chihuahua running towards me. I had been chased by the beast before, but never with a frontal attack. I didn’t like the messy thought of having a head on collision with a Chihuahua, so I crossed the street. He followed me, obviously encouraged that I didn’t want to face him head on. When I reached the opposite sidewalk, he backed of, still barking abuse. I spun a wheelie and yelled, “Hey, what’s your problem!” That’s when I noticed the dog’s owner standing on his lawn, staring at me like I was some kind of nut. Suddenly a member of my staff drove passed. She had seen the whole incident, slowed down, wound down her window and with a big smile on her face she said, “Naughty doggy!” while waving her finger at me. I wasn’t sure if she was speaking to me or the dog.
The next day I poured some cereal into a bowl, and was left holding an empty box. I decided that it would take up less room in the trash if I flattened it. So I put it on the ground, and stood on it. That’s when I found out that a cereal box on a vinyl floor moves a human like he’s on smooth ice. My foot slid at 90 miles an hour into the dog dish and spread dog food and water all over the kitchen floor. I spent some time getting food out of my shoe.Earlier that week, I phoned my editor to wish her happy birthday. I knew it was coming up so I kept a note all week by my phone that said “Sunday. Birthday--Lynn.” I even programmed my phone to sound an alarm. A birthday call out of the blue can be so meaningful. The Sunday came. I didn’t lose the note. The alarm went off as planned. I felt proud of myself, and as I called I was thinking, “This will be a surprise.” When she answered I blurted out a sincere and enthusiastic, “Happy birthday Lynn!” Her birthday was the previous Sunday.
So if you too are a continual klutz, take comfort that you are not alone. There's a whole book coming to console you.
