Bug Your Doctor

Scotty is the sound man for our radio program. He does a lot of sitting at his computer and was wanting to exercise more, so I encouraged him to take my bike and ride it during his lunch hour. Meanwhile, I went to visit my doctor to get my yearly checkup. I like my doctor. The first time we met he seemed to spend ages looking into my left ear. Then he thoughtfully stood in front of me and said, “I want you to firmly pull down on the earlobe.” So I reached out, grabbed his ear lobe, and pulled down firmly. His face lit up like a man whose face lit up. He laughed and laughed. It was then that I realized that this poor man (even though he was a Christian) had a pretty sad life. People who visit him are usually miserable and complaining about something. So I determined to lift his spirits whenever I could.

I arrived at the doctor’s office, we greeted each other, and then I unbuttoned my shirt and lay on the examination table. Hidden in my hand was a 2-inch lifelike plastic cockroach. I took one to my dentist a few years back. When he told me to open my mouth, there it was, sitting on my tongue. He sure freaked out. There was something deeply gratifying about giving my dentist a little pain.

So, as my doctor checked my heart, I skillfully slipped the roach onto my stomach. It took a second, but boy, did he jump! Then he laughed and laughed. After the examination he just sat there and made small-talk. He was either thoroughly enjoying the fellowship, or he was secretly conducting a psychological examination.

I got back to the ministry and found that Scotty did go for a ride on my bike. He was quietly riding down the street, when suddenly something shot out from a driveway. It was the canine cannonball! Scotty found himself being chased by the crazed, demon-possessed, hate-filled anti-Christ chihuahua. It was the same beast that had been hounding me for weeks. The mad dog must have thought it was me on the bike (yes, Scotty is strikingly handsome). He said that the “little rat” scared the living daylights out of him, and he peddled so fast he burned off three pounds.